Beneath The Tide: Title? ha.

Jun 25, 2013

Title? ha.

I work with this guy named Cody. and i really like him, i have no clue why, i mean he can be snappy and rude sometimes, but he's nice. and funny. But like.... it's weird im weird because i like REALLY like guys for their personality, he is proof. he has a great smile, and personanlity, and a cute face, but he;s a 'big boy' kk? he's not some fit mr.chunk. he's like a teddy bear. im attracted to big dude, what can i say? but... they have to have good personality and hygine, other wise it's just gross, you know? he has white teeth and he's friendlyand clean, doesnt stink. but he's 5 years older than i am... :/

Oh and i got a speeding ticket yesterday, on sunday, my first ever, first time even being pulled voer. it sucked. :(

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And have you my friend , ever felt so worthless and so dead. Have you ever felt like you could just crumble away like a land slide? Like all that was left was a meer thought of you, but in their mind they could not picture you, could not hear you, they only knew that once you were here, and now your laughter, your beauty, your presence.... is all gone?

Not only 'gone' but gone forever. that one person you loved the most, they and jesus had to compete for a part of your heart so big, it could only hold either or. That one person , would they miss you?would they miss you like you loved them, would they miss you like you wish they would?

Would you feel as if your life was well lived, and you had done all the things you always wanted, and all the right things at the right moment? Oh, but you're worthless, and dead. you never got far, you never broke through the easiest glass door to break. You didn't have the strength, nor the will, so now you're simply left to be ink on photograph paper, a name some one remembers, a laugh some one longs for to hear once again if only one last time, a soul some one wishes to embrace once again, and a face that few knew well, but many had once seen....

You're simply a memory. All that was you, is now gone. All that wasn't you has taken over. Your body has crumbled into the dirt like the rest of the lives spent here on our pitiful earth. But even if you never knew it, even if you never felt it, even IF you never tried, you made an impact on some ones life, they didnt know you, nor you them. but they think about you, every time they help some one,everytime they hear a laugh, every time they embrace their love, every time they see a resemblence on a strangers face, they question if that was you, but they know it wasn't. You know it wasn't. You no longer exist in this atmosphere, how could it possibly be you?

And so you're left to wonder.

Would you be satisfied if one day you just disappeared? Would you leave this place happily? because you knew that you were not worthless?

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Jun 25, 2013

Title? ha.

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