Jul 23, 2013
Thunder Clouds
Watching the thunder clouds roll in, i scream, Im in the dark alone, your dancing on the sounds of my screams, laughter filling the air, Lightining strikes, lighting up the world for seconds, then darkness again. The rain poors down, im soaked and scared, but you laugh, and yell once more " Im sorry! IM SO CONFUSED, im not sorry, im sorry im yelling at you, this isn't your fault..." "Baby, when im yelling at you, it's not your fault." The rain makes puddles around my feet, i can hear you moving, your such a joke i whisper, knowing you heard me, this love is over... Then lighting strikes and your face is an inch from mine, but i didnt jump, i smiled, the world goes dark once more, then another strike makes our world glow, and im gone. Your left confused and scared, but im not concerned with you. I left this mess, i left you alone , in your time of need, and im not sorry, the thunder clouds roll on, taking the rain and darkness with them, and the sun shines again, and i smile again, i feel happy, now that your gone.
Jul 19, 2013
Fuck it.
He once told me i could write a poem about him.
He once told me i could achieve all things i wished.
He told me alot of things, he saide he'd never leave, and he'd never dissapoint me, but he proved himself a liar.
my love why did you go? why did you leave, as i sat there the dark? i am cold and afraid. I wish you hadn't left me. Every night when I dream, I dream of your face. I dream of the lies you told me, but in my drams, they werent lies. I love you now, like I loved you then. We were only feshmen, we were only children, but you are the love of my life. This floor is so cold, my fingers grip each little bump as i run my hand across the floor. My wet hair soaking my T-shirt, as little water droplets smack the ground. I just stare at the fuzziness that apears when you simply stare, at nothing, that stare that you have in class, your looking at something, but you don't see it, i don't see the floor, i just stare, my head in my hands.
Fuck it, i think to myself, fuck this, your not worth the tears i shed, the pain i feel, the emptiness that exists in my chest, the dreams i give you at ngiht, the moments i think about you, your not worth this. I get up, feel the cold wood floor under my feet, and walk to the bedroom we used to share. I get dressed and i smile. I look in the mirror and smile the happiest smile i can, and i say quietly, fuck it. Fuck you.
He once told me i could achieve all things i wished.
He told me alot of things, he saide he'd never leave, and he'd never dissapoint me, but he proved himself a liar.
my love why did you go? why did you leave, as i sat there the dark? i am cold and afraid. I wish you hadn't left me. Every night when I dream, I dream of your face. I dream of the lies you told me, but in my drams, they werent lies. I love you now, like I loved you then. We were only feshmen, we were only children, but you are the love of my life. This floor is so cold, my fingers grip each little bump as i run my hand across the floor. My wet hair soaking my T-shirt, as little water droplets smack the ground. I just stare at the fuzziness that apears when you simply stare, at nothing, that stare that you have in class, your looking at something, but you don't see it, i don't see the floor, i just stare, my head in my hands.
Fuck it, i think to myself, fuck this, your not worth the tears i shed, the pain i feel, the emptiness that exists in my chest, the dreams i give you at ngiht, the moments i think about you, your not worth this. I get up, feel the cold wood floor under my feet, and walk to the bedroom we used to share. I get dressed and i smile. I look in the mirror and smile the happiest smile i can, and i say quietly, fuck it. Fuck you.
Jul 18, 2013
Never stop dreaming.
Jul 17, 2013
rain storms.
looking out the window, seeing your own reflection in it, and the pouring rain through your face.The glistening drops of water as they hit the gorund, they explode and colide into one small lake. The lights strike through the sky, lighting up the world for us to see, and the thunder creating music for the show.
...
Don't lose yourself to an image you want others to believe. Create yourself through the image you want to see.
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 15, 2013
Nonsense poems.
Nonsense verse is a form of light, often rhythmical verse, often for children, depicting peculiar characters in amusing and fantastical situations. It is whimsical and humorous in tone and tends to employ fanciful phrases and meaningless made-up words.[1] Nonsense verse is closely related to Amphigouri (Greek amphi- (q.v.) + gyros "circle," thus "circle on both sides," or from Gk. -agoria "speech"), which is a meaningless or nonsensical piece of writing, especially one intended as a parody.[2]
Limericks are probably the best known form of nonsense verse, although they tend nowadays to be used for bawdy or straightforwardly humorous, rather than nonsensical, effect.
Among writers in English noted for nonsense verse are Edward Lear, Lewis Carroll, Ogden Nash, Mervyn Peake, Colin West, Roald Dahl, Dr. Seuss, Brian P. Cleary, and Spike Milligan. The Martian Poets and Ivor Cutler are considered by some to be in the nonsense tradition. '
hmmmmm...... interesting huh?
Jul 13, 2013
2 dead boys got up to fight
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys* got up to fight, [*or men]
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!
2 a.m.
at 2 a.m. it's easier to hear the world. The crickets chirp loudler, the birds tweet quieter, the train tracks echo in the ground as the train horns sounds echo as well. You can hear the ground rumble from under the trains cold metal wheels, and the see the sparks fly off of the tracks from the friction. you can hear the cows grazing and the coyotes barkings and howling. See the alien like eyes of animals glow from a distance for a split second. hear the rumble of the highway a mile or so away. see the black sky with hundreds of sparkling little lights, look closely at the twinkles and the planets and the suns, and look at the man on the moon. You can see cities 20 miles away with their lights shining in the sky....It's a whole new world at 2 a.m.
Jul 11, 2013
Blogs.
I want to see another personal blog like my own....original, well designed, entertaining, honest, interesting, or atleast trrying to be these things. if you have one, please eamil me link @ CarolineElizabeth1789@gmail.com , It would be the best thing to see someone else out there blogging like this. :)
9 months
Any one reading this a mother or father?or pregnant?
here's for you ! :)
oh my god, this can't be real, what if he doenst want to be a father what if he doesnt want to get married, you thought the worse after seeing that little plus sign but in the end it all went well, or maybe you were excited seeing the little plus sign, sending out those little colored gum cigars to your friends and family, it's a boy, it's a girl, it's twins, what ever excited news you had, you were so happy to see your bump finally showing, you each held it, he hugged it, kissed it, talked to it, you slowly began to clean that spare room, and put a crib and furniture in it, and painted the walls, excitedly, you talked to your family dog about how they can't lick the babies face, or get mad at the baby, but you can love the baby, cuddle the baby. 8 months into this deal, you had that scare, that wasn't suposed to happen, but the nurse said the heart beat was still there, and 9 months after that little plus sign, those 2 little lines, you hed a precious home made oven cooked child, you made this, you counted the toes, the fingers, you touched every single little part, couldn't believe that you made such a perfet little peice of heaven, you held them, scare you'd break them, and when he asked to hold them, you didnt want to let him, but he helped make them, you can't refuse that. You two take them home, lay them in the crib and wake up at 4 am to change their diapers, this is what makes you parents.
And you know what, Even if you missed that test, missed that birth, and those first few days or weeks, but you hold them in your arms, and you love them, and you take them like your own, your a parent. Even if your children are in heaven, you made them, even if you only had them for a few weeks, even if they were alive before labor and passed after, if they just werent strong enough, you did your best, and you are a parent. And god is there for you. :) Good luck you guys!! :D
here's for you ! :)
oh my god, this can't be real, what if he doenst want to be a father what if he doesnt want to get married, you thought the worse after seeing that little plus sign but in the end it all went well, or maybe you were excited seeing the little plus sign, sending out those little colored gum cigars to your friends and family, it's a boy, it's a girl, it's twins, what ever excited news you had, you were so happy to see your bump finally showing, you each held it, he hugged it, kissed it, talked to it, you slowly began to clean that spare room, and put a crib and furniture in it, and painted the walls, excitedly, you talked to your family dog about how they can't lick the babies face, or get mad at the baby, but you can love the baby, cuddle the baby. 8 months into this deal, you had that scare, that wasn't suposed to happen, but the nurse said the heart beat was still there, and 9 months after that little plus sign, those 2 little lines, you hed a precious home made oven cooked child, you made this, you counted the toes, the fingers, you touched every single little part, couldn't believe that you made such a perfet little peice of heaven, you held them, scare you'd break them, and when he asked to hold them, you didnt want to let him, but he helped make them, you can't refuse that. You two take them home, lay them in the crib and wake up at 4 am to change their diapers, this is what makes you parents.
And you know what, Even if you missed that test, missed that birth, and those first few days or weeks, but you hold them in your arms, and you love them, and you take them like your own, your a parent. Even if your children are in heaven, you made them, even if you only had them for a few weeks, even if they were alive before labor and passed after, if they just werent strong enough, you did your best, and you are a parent. And god is there for you. :) Good luck you guys!! :D
Jul 10, 2013
This kiss :x
I don't want another heartbreak
I don't need another turn to cry, no
I don't want to learn the hard way
Baby hello, oh no, goodbye
But you got me like a rocket
Shooting straight across the sky
It' s the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's, ah, impossible
This kiss, this kiss
Unstoppable
This kiss, this kiss
Cinderella said to Snow White
"How does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight
With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset
Baby I'm forever yours"
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's, ah unthinkable
This kiss, this kiss
Unsinkable
This kiss, this kiss
You can kiss me in the moonlight
On the rooftop under the sky, oh
You can kiss me with the windows open
While the rain comes pouring inside, oh
Kiss me in sweet slow motion
Let's let everything slide
You got me floating
You got me flying
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's (ah) subliminal
This kiss, this kiss
It's criminal
This kiss, this kiss
It's the way you love me baby
It's the way you love me, darlin'
It' s the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss
It's that pivotal moment
It's (ah) subliminal
This kiss, this kiss
It's criminal
This kiss, this kiss
It's the way you love me baby
It's the way you love me darlin'
What.....the hell?
And i can't change,even if i tried. Even if i wanted to. My love, my love, my love, he keeps me warm. he keeps me warm...
any ways, time for some deep thought.
As you walk that lonely road, as you walk with no one at your side, you are alone. in the dark you can't speak, can't listen. you walk blindly into nothing. Your love has let you do this, the moment you said yes, they took advantage. love is blind, love is beautiful,but love is ugly. You blindly walk down this road alone, they keep there distance, letting hte evil spirits take you, and grab you, shred you to peices, as they watch in the shadows.
nah. I'm not sure what that one was about but how about this one.
As you watch from the other side of the room, you wonder. Do they know you exist? Do they know you love them, even though you've never met them? but you have faith that one day you'll be wanted, by that one person and they'll love you with all their heart and you'll feel as if you are needed every second of every day and you can never be apart, but eventually the feeling goes away and you catch them with their significant other, and you are caught in a love trianlge and they say they'll never do it again, but can you trust them now? can you beleive the words coming from your lovers soft lips, the lips you've once kissed, and the eyes you used to fall head over heals for, and those hands you have felt time and time again, and can you trust them the way you used to? they moved their hands, they cover their chin, their mouth, you watch, as they nervously apologize, but if you meant that much to them,would this have ever happened? What kind of promises will they make now? can you look into those eyes the same way, can you love their body like you used to, knowing they have been unfaithful. and can you forgive them for their trespass against you? No. You tell htem to leave,to get out, your hurt your in pain, your eyes start to tear and they drop like little raind drops, your vision clouds, you fucking unfaithful human being, get the fucking hell out of my fucking home, you don't deserve me, you scream so loud you scare yourself, and they get scared as well, you stop, and stare into their beautiful frightened eyes, as they look at you confused, get the fuck out! you say once more, and they turn around, you can finally catch your breath, you love them, but its over, this will all end soon. You go into your bathroom , open the vanity, and remove the valium. As you take a months worth of valium, you hear your lovers car leave the drive, and you whisper once more thatyou love them, then you sleep, a deep dark sleep you'll never see the light of the sun again, and your gone, your body left to be found by your lover the next day as they return to gather their belongings, and you are left in the deep dark abyss of nithingness after death, as you try to find the lights to heaven, and your lover lays their head upon your dead shoulder and begins to cry, as they notice thelittle note grapsed in your hand, and they read the words i love you, and then lie next to you, an empty pill bottle on the nightstand, and one more life taken, the bodies lie together, under the covers, cold and stiff, and each died with a tear on their cheek.
any ways, time for some deep thought.
As you walk that lonely road, as you walk with no one at your side, you are alone. in the dark you can't speak, can't listen. you walk blindly into nothing. Your love has let you do this, the moment you said yes, they took advantage. love is blind, love is beautiful,but love is ugly. You blindly walk down this road alone, they keep there distance, letting hte evil spirits take you, and grab you, shred you to peices, as they watch in the shadows.
nah. I'm not sure what that one was about but how about this one.
As you watch from the other side of the room, you wonder. Do they know you exist? Do they know you love them, even though you've never met them? but you have faith that one day you'll be wanted, by that one person and they'll love you with all their heart and you'll feel as if you are needed every second of every day and you can never be apart, but eventually the feeling goes away and you catch them with their significant other, and you are caught in a love trianlge and they say they'll never do it again, but can you trust them now? can you beleive the words coming from your lovers soft lips, the lips you've once kissed, and the eyes you used to fall head over heals for, and those hands you have felt time and time again, and can you trust them the way you used to? they moved their hands, they cover their chin, their mouth, you watch, as they nervously apologize, but if you meant that much to them,would this have ever happened? What kind of promises will they make now? can you look into those eyes the same way, can you love their body like you used to, knowing they have been unfaithful. and can you forgive them for their trespass against you? No. You tell htem to leave,to get out, your hurt your in pain, your eyes start to tear and they drop like little raind drops, your vision clouds, you fucking unfaithful human being, get the fucking hell out of my fucking home, you don't deserve me, you scream so loud you scare yourself, and they get scared as well, you stop, and stare into their beautiful frightened eyes, as they look at you confused, get the fuck out! you say once more, and they turn around, you can finally catch your breath, you love them, but its over, this will all end soon. You go into your bathroom , open the vanity, and remove the valium. As you take a months worth of valium, you hear your lovers car leave the drive, and you whisper once more thatyou love them, then you sleep, a deep dark sleep you'll never see the light of the sun again, and your gone, your body left to be found by your lover the next day as they return to gather their belongings, and you are left in the deep dark abyss of nithingness after death, as you try to find the lights to heaven, and your lover lays their head upon your dead shoulder and begins to cry, as they notice thelittle note grapsed in your hand, and they read the words i love you, and then lie next to you, an empty pill bottle on the nightstand, and one more life taken, the bodies lie together, under the covers, cold and stiff, and each died with a tear on their cheek.
Jul 9, 2013
Just sittin.
Im just sitting here, chilling in my uber comfy bed, wathcing 16 candles. I hope every female gets their own version of that story! :) painful cse of the hiccups too! grreat.
Only One
I sometimes feel like I'm the only female in the world with my life problems, then i remember, theres othersout there...... ha, who have it worse than me.... i must admit im prettygoodon everything aside from weight... O.o whew.
Jul 8, 2013
Stuff
well i had a decent 4th of july, now i hvae court tomorrow, i put an application in at subway and just let me tell you how exhausted ive been lately!!
oh my lord.
oh my lord.
Jul 3, 2013
Reading list
Well before i start any of these, i have to finish my If there be thorns and seeds of yesterday by V.C. andrews.
But here are some new books i begotted :)
Perfect ~ Judith McNaught
So Enchanting ~ Connie Brockway
FATAL Fixer-upper ~ Jennie Bentley
Bag of Bones ~ Stephen King
Dark Angel ~Donna Ball
Dead Wrong ~ Janice Kay Johnson
Devil Bones ~ Kathy Reichs
Ever read these? feel free to comment the ratings of them on here :) would love to know what im getting into !! haha.
But here are some new books i begotted :)
Perfect ~ Judith McNaught
So Enchanting ~ Connie Brockway
FATAL Fixer-upper ~ Jennie Bentley
Bag of Bones ~ Stephen King
Dark Angel ~Donna Ball
Dead Wrong ~ Janice Kay Johnson
Devil Bones ~ Kathy Reichs
Ever read these? feel free to comment the ratings of them on here :) would love to know what im getting into !! haha.
Jul 2, 2013
Independence day
Fireworks, firecrackers, big booms, big bangs. Love these great American holidays!
As unnatural yet beautiful colors light up our skies all over this nation we celebrate our countries independence and freedom. We thank our God for the lives he has given us, and we pray the less fortunate.
Purples blue, and bright green yellow hues, we celebrate, our countries old debate, freedom or not, we have what we've got, America home of the brave, land of the free, will always be. Amber waves of grain make us look at the world in a different way, as we stand in disbelief and thanks for this day.
As unnatural yet beautiful colors light up our skies all over this nation we celebrate our countries independence and freedom. We thank our God for the lives he has given us, and we pray the less fortunate.
Purples blue, and bright green yellow hues, we celebrate, our countries old debate, freedom or not, we have what we've got, America home of the brave, land of the free, will always be. Amber waves of grain make us look at the world in a different way, as we stand in disbelief and thanks for this day.
Jul 1, 2013
Breathe
I keep breathing. Take a breath and let it out, the inhale exhale motions and sounds make it easier to stand stress. Stress is like a little devil on your shoulder, in your mind, on your back, not possible to rid yourself of him, but he is always there waiting. Luck does the same, but luck is shy, it lets the little stresses take over, it lets stress and hate ruin your day, but when stress and hate turn and look away luck pops up and grants you the gift of a few seconds without stress, a few second of thanks, and then back to hate again.
(Which our world is os full of, so much hate, every where you go. Hate by race hate by place of birth and skin color? hated by your looks. You cannot not be ugly/beautiful and win the war on hate. Simply cannot. The intellignece of our people has demenished so much, education is a joke now.)
With each breath you inhale, and let go, you think about that one person, did they make you this way? full of hate and full of angst, always on the edge worrying, never turning your back. the demons always play games with you, tearing at your soul, tugging on it until it can no longer stand up against them, the demons make you hate, make you crippled, they damage your very self. The self that only exists by your spirit, the entity of you is what they want, they wish to grab at every single little bit of you thats left, and every single ounce and to tear it to tiny little peices.
But why? because these demons are hate, they are stress, and they always have a tight grip on you. Always tossing the word hate around like you mean it, like you seriously hate that stranger who gave you a dirty look, but they hate you because you gave them a dirty look. The hatred is a stressful never ending circle that must end somehwere...
Where do our animalistic insticts kick in, when will our fellow people happily decide to always do as much as you can to help another person? Feed, cloth, bathe your fellow man. Our world is a disgrace. love strangers as much as family. Just be at peace with the rest of hte living people on the planet. Rest your anxious soul.
(Which our world is os full of, so much hate, every where you go. Hate by race hate by place of birth and skin color? hated by your looks. You cannot not be ugly/beautiful and win the war on hate. Simply cannot. The intellignece of our people has demenished so much, education is a joke now.)
With each breath you inhale, and let go, you think about that one person, did they make you this way? full of hate and full of angst, always on the edge worrying, never turning your back. the demons always play games with you, tearing at your soul, tugging on it until it can no longer stand up against them, the demons make you hate, make you crippled, they damage your very self. The self that only exists by your spirit, the entity of you is what they want, they wish to grab at every single little bit of you thats left, and every single ounce and to tear it to tiny little peices.
But why? because these demons are hate, they are stress, and they always have a tight grip on you. Always tossing the word hate around like you mean it, like you seriously hate that stranger who gave you a dirty look, but they hate you because you gave them a dirty look. The hatred is a stressful never ending circle that must end somehwere...
Where do our animalistic insticts kick in, when will our fellow people happily decide to always do as much as you can to help another person? Feed, cloth, bathe your fellow man. Our world is a disgrace. love strangers as much as family. Just be at peace with the rest of hte living people on the planet. Rest your anxious soul.
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