Beneath The Tide: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9... Gah

Nov 19, 2012

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9... Gah

So you liked me? I already knew that, about both of you...
Moved away, coming back... Good to know... Will I see you? nope.
And the friend... You kindly accepted my apology, however, we may be friends, but i don't feel more than that for you. I'm sorry...
But the other, on another hand.... something is there.... only slightly though...
oh and then there is the ass.... But i still kinda like him, he has most of my childhood. how could i not?
And then there is the 'ex' ... Why did you have to text me? I still like you, in fact want to tell you, but instead i tell a bunch of random creeps. but why? because Im afraid to hear what you say...
Then there is the acquaintance he's cute, but shorter than me...it'd never work, other than beings friends. and then the other friend from a foreign country? I like you, your flirty, but thats all thats between us. and then the best guy friend from school, yeah, I'm still crushing on you. Your nice to me, and you dont make fun of me... thanks for that. Then the dick that just wants my innocence, LOL,i used to like you, but now i dont. not anymore. and then there is the guy i used to like, then he moved, and stopped talking to me, after all i'd gone through with you? your mental issues? your rage and suicidal thoughts!?? I knew it was just for attention. Fuck you. Up the ass. With a cactus.

so how many was that!? lol.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ? Hm.

I need more females in my life. Thank God for best friends.

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And have you my friend , ever felt so worthless and so dead. Have you ever felt like you could just crumble away like a land slide? Like all that was left was a meer thought of you, but in their mind they could not picture you, could not hear you, they only knew that once you were here, and now your laughter, your beauty, your presence.... is all gone?

Not only 'gone' but gone forever. that one person you loved the most, they and jesus had to compete for a part of your heart so big, it could only hold either or. That one person , would they miss you?would they miss you like you loved them, would they miss you like you wish they would?

Would you feel as if your life was well lived, and you had done all the things you always wanted, and all the right things at the right moment? Oh, but you're worthless, and dead. you never got far, you never broke through the easiest glass door to break. You didn't have the strength, nor the will, so now you're simply left to be ink on photograph paper, a name some one remembers, a laugh some one longs for to hear once again if only one last time, a soul some one wishes to embrace once again, and a face that few knew well, but many had once seen....

You're simply a memory. All that was you, is now gone. All that wasn't you has taken over. Your body has crumbled into the dirt like the rest of the lives spent here on our pitiful earth. But even if you never knew it, even if you never felt it, even IF you never tried, you made an impact on some ones life, they didnt know you, nor you them. but they think about you, every time they help some one,everytime they hear a laugh, every time they embrace their love, every time they see a resemblence on a strangers face, they question if that was you, but they know it wasn't. You know it wasn't. You no longer exist in this atmosphere, how could it possibly be you?

And so you're left to wonder.

Would you be satisfied if one day you just disappeared? Would you leave this place happily? because you knew that you were not worthless?